26 Responses to “What It Feels Like To Be Loved…”

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  1. Lydia Green

    These are truly beautiful images and it shows love albeit translated through a human mindset. what a shame that you do not feel loved Pea, but reading through your site you must know that you are valued.

  2. I love how you apply those beautiful images to your own life, Pea. If we are not present for others, how can we expect others to be there for us?… to me the pictures reveal that innate selflessness that occurs naturally in the universe. We all tend to forget that we are marvelously made and worthy of all that is good and beautiful. We must, must, must fell worthy before we can receive love. We have the capacity to express our marvelous qualities in myriad ways; it is our birthright.
    rob white recently posted..What Makes a Charismatic Speaker?My Profile

    • Pea

      I hear you rob and beautifully put as ever, but the funny thing is, I wore my worthiness confidently like heavily drenched perfume every day of my life until this happened. I was blessed to feel loved for so long (barring rejection at birth) that this was a jarring shock. The idea that maybe this family love might be conditional, or can be toyed with when the person concerned is feeling bored or mean was a big surprise. I know you may be speaking generally, but feeling worthy of family love was not my issue.

  3. Possibly the greatest post I’ve seen all week. Such lovely pictures. You are always loved, ALWAYS. Never forget that. You are an amazing writer. :) Hope you having a good week. Rochelle.

    • Pea

      Ah, thank you Rochelle. You are most kind and maybe even though feeling rejected I knew / hoped that I was loved overall still. But your own folks should never make you doubt that. Your own folks are assigned to you by fate to always have your back. (I know sadly that this is certainly not always the case). And being put in this position has been a freshly new and humbling experience for me. An attack on what I always took for granted. I tried to make sense of it all in my follow up post so I won’t say anymore, but cheers, thank you very much.

  4. Hello Pea,

    I second Lydia’s comments:))

    This beautiful montage of selfless love that you have shared with us reminds me of my favorite poem by Hafiz:

    Even after all this time
    The sun never says to the Earth
    “You owe me”

    Look what happens
    With a love like that,
    It lights the whole sky

    You’re spreading such uplifting thoughts on love and I hope it all finds its way right back to you very soon:)
    Peace.
    Sophia
    Sophia recently posted..The “Hopelessness” of Venice. Diary entry: Venice, Nov. 4thMy Profile

    • Pea

      Sophia, these words now are unfettered and beautiful as your little mini pic shows you are. I had never heard of that and thank God for amazing creatives who take mundane words and make them magic. That sums up family for me. No one owes anything and everything should just belong to everyone for everyone’s peace and benefit. That’s about as soppy as I get, but for me as long as I have anything, my family has it. It is not possible for me to ‘loan’ them anything. If it’s mine it’s theirs. The sun comes up and does it’s job with no expectations and I like to think I do too…and yet I do expect family love to be stable and just…there , present and apparent, which is of course an expectation! But a valid one I think.
      Thank you for coming over. A truly beautiful poem and I shall check out Hafiz.

  5. Pea you are loved! They were just having an off day. What were your dastardly doings? Were they really bad??! 8-O

    • Pea

      Hello Heidi! All will be revealed. And I don’t say that to be mysterious about the next related post, just because literally it is all in there rendering no need to repeat it!

  6. Haha awwwww, those pictures were really cute.

    I like the underlying principle you’re saying here. It’s something that I think I could use more understanding of. I should also probably not in sentences with “of”. :)

    But anyway, I’m used to considering the intention to be the most important part of any act. But then again, as you said, people are not mind readers. Sometimes we should just set aside all of our intentions and consider truly how the other person feels.

    Thanks for reminding me Pea.
    Fred Tracy recently posted..What Is the Real Meaning of Life?My Profile

    • Pea

      Fred, I’m glad this is something that you got something off of….oops!
      (It pained me to write such a ghastly grammatically awful sentence for the sake of a joke, but there, it’s done).

      Hmmm, intentions…I’ve heard a lot about those from folks that don’t ever actually hit any targets for me. It makes me reflect also on the difference between my intentions and what the reality actually is for another person. It doesn’t always mean you are wrong and they are right either. It’s just that if your actions are for them they must reap the benefits, not just you / us. When we are protesting the defense of our actions we often forget that.

      Anyway what is the real meaning of life I wonder?

    • Fred Tracy

      Wrong question! Duhhh. :P
      Fred Tracy recently posted..Benefits of Being Single AND in a RelationshipMy Profile

  7. Read the post and the comments with such deep interest and emotion. Been where you are, I think I still am there, and will be for a long long time. I think sometimes, parent folk just think their way is better, be it way of caring or expressing. Well, am kinda stuck on this and it is a difficult, sad place to be. How does one get heard ? Whilst you say that children should always be loved, I think they should also be heard and accepted, taken for equals as they grow. Your post did teach me a lot, maybe a child takes too many things for granted and doesn’t show love. I loved the poem by Hafiz. Thank you so much for the post and comments discussion that followed. Such a peace here. Waiting to see your new post.

    • Pea

      Uzma sorry to hear that you are in a deeply dissatisfying place with your loved ones. Personally, I don’t believe that I am my parents equal and because of their seniority I will never be, but that does not preclude respect going both ways. Of course a lot of parents think they know everything don’t they? But we, the self development generation have been taught that there is always room to learn, grow and change our minds at whatever age. The thing is, if you think that you will be in this awkward place ‘for a long long time’ you have to let the trees be trees. In other words, let what is be what it is, the part to give most attention to is you at this point. No one wants you to be in difficult sad place and you must not give people – anyone permission to put you there.
      Perhaps we’ll talk more about this on the next related post.
      Remember, “Life is really simple. Fantastic sunsets, stunning cliffs, a gigantic rainbow and the freedom to breathe – to just be.” Sometimes it really does not have to be more complicated than that if you absolutely insist upon it for yourself.

    • Pea

      Uzma sorry to hear that you are in a deeply dissatisfying place with your loved ones. Personally, I don’t believe that I am my parents equal and because of their seniority I will never be, but that does not preclude respect going both ways. Of course a lot of parents think they know everything don’t they? But we, the self development generation have been taught that there is always room to learn, grow and change our minds at whatever age. The thing is, if you think that you will be in this awkward place ‘for a long long time’ you have to let the trees be trees. In other words, let what is, be what it is. The part to give most attention to is you at this point. No one wants you to be in difficult, sad place and you must not give people – anyone, permission to put you there.
      Perhaps we’ll talk more about this on the next related post.
      Remember, “Life is really simple. Fantastic sunsets, stunning cliffs, a gigantic rainbow and the freedom to breathe – to just be.” Sometimes it really does not have to be more complicated than that if you absolutely insist upon it for yourself.

  8. Thank you for your wise words Pea. Yup, let trees be trees and focus on me , it is :) Thank you for the reminder, it hit home. To bask in beauty, and not forget it, its all within and everywhere. Sometimes one just needs reminders, so thank you for the light. God bless.
    Uzma recently posted..Find Inspiration Now !My Profile

  9. Becky Giddrich

    Haven’t we all been there with parents and relatives? Christmas is usually so hectic and traumatic just coping with the different mood swings from various visiting family members. But then I suppose maybe they see me that way too! Perhaps I don’t express my feelings to them! This calls for some serous introspection I think!

  10. Okudunle Ijo

    You are loved Pea. You can not write such posts and not be loved.

  11. Shit…pardon my french:~) What the hell happened? I was at the follow-up post to this one and had to come check this one out. It’s not that I want all the gory details, but someone seems to have done a number on you big time.

    What can I say about family? I come from a very non-nurturing family.Unconditional love was NOT in my parent’s vocabulary. They weren’t abusive; they just weren’t there. I learned about love from people who worked for my parents and the variety of animals we had. I once saw this therapist who promised me given my family background, there was little hope for me to fully comprehend LOVE or give it. He was wrong.

    I have thrived, even though I’ve had my rough patches. The seeds of love and self-love exist in every one of us, regardless of our backgrounds. Some of us just have to dig deeper for it, but it always there and NO ONE can take it away from us, unless we let them.

    I’m not sure what happened. What I do sense is it’s not a good thing to mess with Pea. You’re the kind of person who will dig and dig until you find your way out of the tunnel. Now, back to follow-up post:~)
    Sara recently posted..Thinking Thursday: Domestic ViolenceMy Profile

    • Pea

      You are right of course Sara. My reactions today come from spending some time digging and digging until it made logical sense. Not that humans are always logical – but it is the understanding that we are not and certainly not always mindful or thoughtful to others that helps me tuck it to one side and move on. It is actually not my problem. It’s theirs.

      Re your therapist, I have learnt from experience not to take someone’s word just because they wear a white coat or a uniform and your experience is another perfect example of this.
      You learned love…’from the variety of animals we had’ – you need say no more. We are not so un-alike. :)

      Funnily enough Lady Wordsmith, nobody does mess with me! And I don’t mean that arrogantly, aggressively or nastily, I mean that I have no truck with it and never have – emotionally or physically. I give respect and expect it. But with family, your guard drops doesn’t it? So when they make mischief you have to remember that nobody should be allowed to make you unhappy or doubt yourself, family or no.

      Always a pleasure to see your name pop up!
      Pea recently posted..The Simplicity Of LoveMy Profile

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