Here’s To The Mad Men!
In October 2011 the world lost three young men that frankly I had never heard of…
Dan Wheldon – British racing driver
Marco Simoncelli – Italian motorcycle racer
Antoine Montant – French speed flying champion
They were killed doing highly risky sports activities. Amongst the shock and tributes were a few voices of ‘Why is it necessary to do such dangerous sports?’ and ‘Well it is only to be expected when people don’t respect safety rules and their own lives.’
Me, I’m a careful, mindful soul.
OCD makes me over analyze even the most basic everyday things, but even I recognize that we need the Mad Men.
We need them. They push the boundaries of human ability and exploration. They are the ones that keep discovering that we CAN.
We need people who do that with their intellect, their spirits and their bodies. It means that the rest of us can sit on our sofa’s and computer chairs and pontificate from a safe distance.
Their lives are raw, loud and authentic. It’s hardcore wake up calls every race and every new previously unbroken human boundary. So here’s to the Mad Men and Whacky Women who keep the place jumping and alive, thrilling, rule-free, reckless and on edge.
At the very least, these 3 men all LIVED before they died. Here’s to you!
ref:
The video is Antoine Montant speed gliding in Chamonix. Watch and be amazed.
The Simplicity Of Love
This post follows on from previous post ‘What It Feels Like To Be Loved.’
People marry for all sorts of reasons. But is the most significant reason love? If your partner wanted to leave today could you allow them to do so without malice? This to me is love in it’s original pure sense.
True love is love that puts the other person above fragile ego, personal need, personal greed or what the neighbours will think. If divorced couples really loved, where does the often seen bile and latent vindictiveness come from?
Glaring at each other through divorce lawyers they exhibit sadness, disappointment, jealousy, ego, anger, fear…but not love.
There was a man married to his actress wife who ended up living practically next door to her…and her new boyfriend! One good reason was so that everyone could see the children with ease. When asked about this unusual arrangement, the husband said that it was because he loved her he knew she must be free to do what makes her happy, particularly if she no longer reciprocated their love as before.
This was a man with the most uncommon common sense, a deeply spiritual intelligence, anchored unusually and unselfishly by true love.
…And then, dear Reader, there’s Family Member. Today, as I write, a week or so from the last post about not feeling loved, I am once again a wonderful, much loved, depended upon person…in their eyes.
I find myself gushingly re-seated in my old familiar role of The Champion.
But you see…that Champion person, me, who was ‘not loved’ only a week or so ago was exactly the same person as today.
Did Family Member and I have an argument?
No.
Anyone who knows me will tell you I’m too laid back for life-wasting unnecessary-ness like that, (9 times out of 10).
Did I do something that offended?
No.
Anyone who knows me will tell you I have never been afraid to confront my own mistakes as publicly as I might do others, (7 times out of 10).
So in this instance I was reminded that if someone has something going on in their head and decides to bring drama to you…help them, ask them, cajole them to tell you, understand what they might be going through. However if they are not willing to have an honest discussion or to be mindful of their own actions and the consequences, then you must leave them to it to preserve your own sense of self. You risk self-analyzing into utter confusion when the analysis should be conducted elsewhere. There is only so much you can do.
We are at liberty to fix ourselves – not others, unless of course they ask and then we can only attempt to do it with their full cooperation.
In the end this is really about someone blowing off steam in one way or another. We all do it. Although it does not have to be done at the reckless expense of someone else.
Not everyone who plays aimlessly with what is already comfortable, good and right in their lives in favour of stirring up pointless ill feeling is aware of what they are doing. And I believe that is the case here. But it was important for me to recognize how, (in this case) my actions had little to do with the way Family Member was behaving. This was their choice.
As it was also their choice to randomly reinstall me as The Champion again with no change to my character, routine or behaviour.
For a seeker of beauty and simplicity of life, it is also my choice not to play a starring role in other people’s unpredictable, unacceptable drama’s.
I have always known that if you do not love yourself you will have nothing to give others.
As we are talking about the simplicity of love, this then has to be one of the most important rules:
Don’t seek love from others that you do not have for yourself.
The only place love can be guaranteed consistently and without disappointment is from yourself. This too is about choice. Once you know this you will have fortified armour for drama (yup it rhymes!) and plenty of love to spare, even for those who disappoint you, for those who find someone else to love, or for those who forget what true love means from time to time.
And you? How do you handle vindictive behaviour? I’m not going to lie to you – I’m no saint and my reaction may be different if it was not a family member…
5 Simple Things
I love my dog.
She is meant to be lower on the totem pole than us humans and yet she is the most consistently authentic being I know.
I know what makes her happy.
- Belly rubs.
- Treats.
- Food.
- Snoozing.
- Walks.
So simple. So immaterial. So consistently happy!
It made me think that if we could reduce what makes us consistently happy down to 5 simple things, perhaps we could keep returning to those things when we have taken our eyes off the ball, lost our way and allowed unnecessary things and sassy people to rain on our parade and complicate our existence.
At this moment in time, mine would be:
- My dog.
- Art and creativity.
- Books.
- Kind, intelligent people.
- My Mac because of the freedom and reach it gives me.
So what 5 simple things make you consistently happy? And know that this is flexible. It might be your all time list or your list for just right now. Be honest. If not here then with yourself so your list can actually really be useful to you. For example, my family would normally occupy my top five, obviously right?
No. With profound honesty, not so much today. 
Blessings and happiness. 
ref:
pic: ‘Simple Things’ by Alvaro Sarney
Time Bandits
If one were to do a Time Bandit’s inventory, in a lot of cases you would find time sneakily hiding in amongst a great deal of unnecessary undertakings. The modern world is full of Time Bandits and everyday more and more are invented. To me a Time Bandit is something that doesn’t enhance your life to any great majesty, yet it occupies a great deal of irreplaceable, invaluable time.
Here’s an inventory of potential Time Bandits to cross check with:
Reality shows
Soaps
Most TV
Making too many lists
Talking on the phone…endlessly
Surfing the net…endlessly
Reading yet another self improvement book but not doing anything
Gossiping
Talking negatively to yourself
Computer games
A disorganized household
Paperwork
‘Friends’ who never bring love, cookies, help or wisdom. They only bring drama
(Of course having fun is never a waste of time and good time management of these potential time stealing activities would mean they would no longer strictly qualify as Time Bandits).
